And the Remote Goes To …

Since the dawn of time, men have used various objects to wield power—each one aimed at showcasing their strength and vigor. Looking back, not much has changed.

A young friend, who is studying women’s issues at a local university, recently called to ask my views on a topic her gender studies class was discussing. The assignment? Write a paper on the various items men have historically used to brandish their machismo. Additionally, each student had to choose one item that women could also wield and make a case for gender equality.

I could hear the excitement in her voice as she shared her research. “Oh my gosh, Annie! I had no idea there were so many inventions throughout history designed specifically to enhance and display men’s strength and power. For example, did you know Neanderthal man invented stone axes, spears, and clubs? They were used for hunting, fighting enemies, and sometimes hitting women over the head before dragging them into a cave. Smashing things must’ve made them feel like real ‘manly men.’ I couldn’t find any mention of cavewomen using the same tools.”

I chuckled softly as she continued. “In the Middle Ages, kings and knights went into battle, wielding huge swords and slashing their way to victory. Triumphant, they often sat on massive thrones, clutching a giant scepter—a symbol of their kingly power. I couldn’t find many images from that time showing women in a similar pose. Maybe the ancient kings didn’t like to share.”

I laughed out loud as she offered more examples of testosterone-fueled objects. For instance, grown men on a football field, charging opponents with the force of medieval warriors—all for control of an oval ball made of pigskin. The ultimate prize of a crown had been replaced by a Super Bowl trophy that looks like a scepter on steroids.

Her enthusiasm was infectious, and it was clear she had taken the assignment seriously. But what about the last part, I asked—the challenge of choosing an object that women could also control, one that might serve as a symbol of gender equality?

“And that brings us to a modern-day symbol of power and control: the remote,” she said.

Ah, the almighty remote. Her research revealed that while this small artifact is occasionally shared, in most households (especially those of baby boomers), men tend to claim supreme authority over it, perched in their throne-like recliners. To them, the remote is theirs and theirs alone.

She explained how some women act like programmed robots, automatically handing over the remote when their husbands enter the room, while others try to hide it and assert control.  In some households, a coin is flipped to determine whose turn it is to choose the evening’s viewing selections.  In others, women simply give in because “it’s easier that way.”

A few domestic partners have devised solutions by having two remotes, where speed and button-pushing skills can determine the victor. One 70-something male (whom I know quite well) justified his control of the remote with these words: “With one remote comes great responsibility. I have taken on this sacred task and strive to use it for the greater good…” 

Through this assignment, my young friend gained a fascinating perspective on the history of male dominance. And while the battle for gender equality has made great strides, the fight for the remote is a small but symbolic test of equity among the sexes.

For my part, I’m happy to report that in our household, some semblance of fairness has been achieved. And thank goodness for that.  "With the remote firmly in hand, I’m ready to take on the Oscars—and remind everyone that the battle for control is far from over, one click at a time."

© 2024  Annie Sokoloff